ROOM CLEANING

Which is the hardest task you have done?
If this question is asked to tp boys the
answer will be unanimous, Room cleaning.
You may wonder what is the big deal
involved in cleaning a room .The answer
is quite simple.Imagine a room filled
with 20 tones of mud about 10 tones of
ash,10 kilos of newspaper (carefully
arranged disorderly so that it never
disturbs the randomness of the room).
This is all on the floor. On the ceiling
you can find precisely 18 species of
spiders and their webs. How can I be so
precise? These spiders are examined,
classified and certified by the master;
chori .He can even name the species by
examining their web. walls are inherited
by a few species of ants and other
unnamed creatures while the kitchen is
incorporated with all kinds of food .The
problem is that these foods are all in
their rotten stages generating a
disgusting foul pungent smell only those
who are used to it can survive it others
will be unconscious for sure. I think
you may agree with us when we say it’s a
really hard task, if not please show us
your room and remove our misconception
about the existence of dirtier rooms than
ours. We believe such rooms only exist in
fiction.

Now coming to the real task of cleaning
the room .we do it in steps or phases,
of course you cannot clean it in one
stretch it needs proper planning. The
first step is to fetch the needed books.
Shinto and Sarath collects all the
textbooks while Chori searches for his
Malayalam aksharamala book which he had
bought from menaka,(don’t worry he wont
open it, it’s only for preservational
purposes), V.V? Where the fuck is he?
that’s when we realize v.v is missing
and me, i search for the novels given
to me by some bibliophile. The second
step is to clear spider webs which in
itself is a huge task and a heart
breaking one for Chori after all they
are his pets. Its only the anticipation
of their rebirth keeps him going, (they
never disappoints him too). Then comes
the enigma, who will clean the kitchen?
Nobody will be ready to take the
challenge; finally the need for cleaning
and non cooperation of the rest makes
Shinto take the challenge. So hats off
to Shinto for being so gritty .We
leave Shinto with his works and enters
phase two .Its not that we mind helping
him to clear those foul smelling rotten
food items its just that he likes to work
alone and we hated to be intruders.
Phase two involves separating the
newspapers notebooks etc from the mess.
This is the phase where we find our
missing text books, of course they will
be found embedded inside the large piles
of newspapers. Also we discover the fact
that newspapers should be read as a whole
without separating the pages .And
notebooks, that’s pretty much the easiest
task .We need only collect Shinto’s and
Saraths the rest are all crap so we
discard them. V.v will be still missing.
Phase 3 .The third phase involves
sweeping the dirt and putting it in old
sacs or plastic bags for disposal. We
cover our nostrils and mouth with a
handkerchief as we hates to invite cough
But handkerchiefs are not dirt proof either
but they save us from the real scum. After
sweeping we throws buckets of water on the
floor and sweeps the water out of the room.
there are no alternates for this job .The
traditional way of using old rags dipped in
water for scrubbing on the floor wont work
as it may require an enormous supply of old
rags which is not available in our room. Its
a really hilarious task as all of us takes
our turns to fall on the extremely slippery
surface and when ever one falls on the
ground the others makes fun of him unknowing
the fact that they are the next victims.
After this we leave the room and allow the
water to be settled. And after the room gets
dried we enters. There we will find vv
comfortably seated in a chair taking a drag.
After scolding him for his absence all the
tired workers falls on the floor one by one
satisfied with their hard work and dreaming
a peaceful night’s sleep in a room without
dirt .But we will be on for worst of all
nights, the number of mosquitoes waiting for
their turn to suck our blood will be
increased by zillions. They takes their
revenge on us for destroying their hatching
grounds (Cant blame them they have been
using our room as a hatchery for months and
destroying it in a day without warning them
is not worth their patience). So what do we
do? We makes our tired legs and hands work
again to find mosquito mats and lights them
hoping that it will reduce their numbers.
but soon we realize that a decrease of a few
hundreds from zillions is negligible .So
instead of sleeping peacefully we will be
twisting and turning to avoid mosquito bites
and these twisting and turning in turn helps
us to develop cramps in parts of our body
which we thought never existed. Finally the
mosquito mat serves the purpose it wont
remove the mosquitoes but the drugs used in
them makes us unconscious and that way we do
get some sleep even though not a natural
peaceful one. So our dream of a peaceful
nights sleep on a dirt free room remains a
fantasy but anticipation of a dirt free
morning makes us extremely happy.

P.S this is the auspicious occasion when
suppus parents gets the rare privilege of
meeting their son(a pleasant day for some).
And sonu finds no delays in leaving the room
(a little consolation for us, don’t have to
hear his crap songs).